Life Explained in Graph

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Adult Jokes - to brighten your day

Got this email recently and I found it quite amusing and would like to share it in my blog.

A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce.
She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian and yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."


Woman: "Doc, an ant entered my vagina, can you please take it out".
Doctor removes her panties and start making love.
Woman: "What are you doing?"
Doctor: "This is the only way to drown the bastard!"


Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your SALARY. It comes once a month, lasts 3 - 4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!


A lady visited her doctor again.
The Dr. said: You look more sick & exhausted than before. Are you having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought you said 3 MALES a day!!!!


Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said "No way; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly & U still Suck It.   If  I make it Pretty You'll Eat It up!!


A nun went for a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told her she was pregnant, she cried and said, "Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore.!"


A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked " Do yo have this? "
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, "My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!"


Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION".
Class Teacher: " Why not?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!"


Mother asks daughter, how is married life?
Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS.
Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked.
It says
"7 DAYS A WEEK, TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!"


What is the STRONGEST muscle?
TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick!.
The lightest muscle?
PENIS! It can be raised by a woman's tongue!


Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: "Name?"
"Park Yu."
0fficer become angry & shouted back:  "FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name?"
Korean replied: "PARK YU TOO!!"

Man to wife: Business is bad, if you learn how to cook we can remove servant.
Wife: ASSHOLE! If you learn how to fuck, we can remove driver, gardener & watchman..


COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party.
BALLS said: You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us hanging OUTSIDE!



A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like?
Mama dog's reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face!"

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我是香蕉人 (Wo Shi Xiang Jiau Ren)

We are 香蕉人......or Banana man. 

We are not ABC (American-Born-Chinese).

What is 香蕉人 (Xiang Jiao Ren) ?

香蕉人 direct translation to English is "fragrant banana people" or "banana man". But, the true meaning behind 香蕉人 is that it is a term made for category of people who are born chinese but do not know chinese. It could be half 香蕉人 or full 香蕉人 where half is that person do know how to speak in chinese, verbally, but do not know how to read and write in chinese. 

Why name 香蕉人 (Xiang Jiao Ren or banana man) ?

What I understood from all the information that I have gathered, it was named after the banana colour. Most 香蕉人 are from English educated Chinese. Caucasian man who is white in color (as opposed to the Asian "yellow man" or the African "black man").

As we can see in a banana, the outer layer of the banana skin is yellow in colour when ripe while the inner part of the fruit is not white in colour (partially yellow, mostly whitish in colour). It resembles the meaning of 香蕉人 in a way where the appearance of a Chinese guy symbolized by the yellow colour on the skin of a banana but has an English educated background symbolized by the white colour in the fleshy part of the fruit.

I'm in the category of half banana man or 一半香蕉人 (Yi Ban Xiang Jiao Ren).

1. Being 一半香蕉人 has its own advantages and disadvantages.

The advantages are:

• making a conversation more interesting
  
• imposing an indirect training on the body language
• can act dumb sometimes (especially towards conversation that you did not wan to proceed further)
• eavesdropping other people's conversation (very useful in identifying potential gossips about you)
• surprising yet disappointing people that have the conception that Chinese people must know Chinese language
  

The disadvantages are:

• possibility of making the conversation more difficult - unable to understand what others meant
  
• could not perform some jobs that require the usage of Chinese language
• difficulty in reading directions when travelling to countries that fully utilizes Chinese words (such as China and Hong Kong)
• often caused misunderstanding when using the Chinese language which are inappropriate in the spoken context due to lack of Chinese language understanding
• unable to sing Chinese songs when joining friends in karaoke session

2. Three golden words when you are unable to understand what another person is saying but you still want to continue the conversation and you did not want to exposed that you are 香蕉人 are:

• "yuen lai..." (signifies that you understood what he/she is saying)

• "shi meh?" (really?)

• "ohhh...." (also signifies that you understood)

3. Sometimes there is a need to add some catalyst to make the person believe that you understood what he/she is saying and at the same time making him to speak in a simpler Chinese words:

• "shen mo?" (what? or pardon me?) 

Then the other person will repeat what he/she is saying in a clearer manner and then it could help you to understand more of what he is trying to tell you. If you still having a big question mark in your mind, do not bother what he/she is trying to say. Just reply:

• "ohh..." (i see)

 4. When you really do not understand what he/she is trying to tell you but you feel that its a very important message that could affect life and death of a person or could lead to the catastrophic phenomenon , then its time to exposed what you truely are by saying the magic word:

• 我是香蕉人 (wo shi xiang jiao ren - I am a banana man)

5. Sometimes its hard being a 香蕉人 and sometimes its fun being a 香蕉人. But, acceptance of being who we are is the utmost important.

6. Do not feel upset or lacking in confident especially when communicating with others if you are a 香蕉人!! Because you are not the only one! Look at the bright side. Being a 香蕉人, helps you to understand that in communication, whatever language you are using is not really important. What is important is that the message that are being conveyed are successfully passed on to another being. At the same time, creating a world that has no language barriers.

7. Some will say that mastering a language helps to achieve a better communication. But, what do you think of a salesman that is very good in his Chinese language mastery but could not convince his customers to buy his product due to the message did not passed on successfully? It is said that 60%-70% of communication lies on the body language or non-verbal language. If a 香蕉人 is able to make the conversation more interesting in his own way, it will certainly attract the attention his customer and eventually influenced him/her to buy his product.

8. By the way, just for some information on the usefulness of banana fruits, it saves lives. When someone is attacked by asthma, and there are no medicine available nearby at that critical moment, use banana! This is because banana is rich in potassium which helps in body functions such as regulation of blood pressure and of water content in cells, transmission of nerve impulses, digestion, muscle contraction, and heartbeat.

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Library in the room

A mountain of books in my room

The books in my room. We can open one library in the room already. Haha. But, this is not the books that I borrowed. Its my roommate’s. This proves that we should respect those who studied politics.

They really did their studies before speaking! (not every politicians and definitely not the current politicians in the nation)

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How long have I lived?

I was born on a Sunday and since my birthday...
I've been living for 22 years
I've been living for 264 months
I've been living for 1,149 weeks
I've been living for 8,043 days
I've been living for 193,039 hours
I've been living for 11,582,387 minutes
I've been living for 694,943,229 seconds
I've breathed more than 110,000,088 times!
I've blinked my eyes more than 116,600,088 times!
My heart has beaten more than 810,767,090 times!

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Eyezmaze

Are you interested in flash games?

Are you having limited creativity?

Need something to stimulate your mind?

I present you Eyezmaze!

Haven't heard of this game?!

Its a website that offer visitors the fun and excitement of playing flash games while stimulating one's creativity and mind. This games not only provide cute and interesting characters but, also, it tests one's mind and memory. Not to forget, catchy musics and ending surprises!

Currently, all the game is done by a Japanese guy who do not know English language. Fortunately, he has a partner who helped him to translate (but the partner was quite busy). Besides, he also received helps from his fans all over the world, helping him in the translations (nothing is impossible if your product is good). Currently, this website is offering English, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Spanish and French language.

The games in the website are categorized into GROW series (my favourite!), miniGROW, JOBs, other GAMEs and miniGAMEs. Also, on the upper right corner of the website there is a cute guy there waving at you (some sort of welcoming you). That welcome guy will play with you the notorious "scissors, stone, cloth".

I'll just explain about the GROW series as this is my favourite. The rest you should try out yourself as there are a lot of surprises through out the game. For the GROW series, player have finish the game by growing the character/puzzle/planet/plant/...... (depend on the game) to the highest level. Its like a puzzle. You can finish the game anyhow but different clicking order produces different ending. Well, I usually would prefer the ending where all the puzzles upgraded to lvl 5 which is the highest level as it always offer surprising ending (sometimes funny, sometimes make me "wow").

Anyway, hope you enjoy the game. EYEZMAZE

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Smashing the door

Recently, my room door knob is jammed. The key could be inserted but could not be twisted to open the lock. Fortunately, my roomate and I was outside of the room and not locked inside of the room like what happened to one of my housemate, not too long before this incident.

We had tried various ways to open the door using the "gentle" way but was in vain. After almost an hour locked outside, which hinder us from our plan of having a dota match, we decide to go for the "rough" way. The door was smashed opened with a super kick from my roomate, vibrating and damaging the whole door, with the sound roaring till can be heard by the apartment neighbours nearby!!

Don't play play... he has been training his leg for this moment throughout his life...

Unfortunately, because of the brutal act, my room could not be locked that night since there are no locksmith around that time as it was Sunday. Out of desperation, a solution was seek and look at what we had achieved!

Locked a door with a chin-up bar made from steel supported by the wooden bed with some rubber grip at the end of the bar

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Badminton Racket

Just bought 2 racket for only RM49.90. It's actually a "Buy 1 Free 1" promotion. This promotion includes a badminton bag. I was sharing with a friend and each person would be approximately RM25. VERY GOOD PRICE ^^

Since I bought the racket at The Spring, I walked around the shopping mall and look at what I've found!

"Please do not throw coins into the water feature"

What does the above statement meant?? Below are my interpretations:

Don't give you money? (Think you beggar?)
Don't throw money at you? (Of course. Nobody would like to be insulted.)
Even if someone would like to give you money but you wouldn't accept? (hang water is it...)
Don't accept coins but only accept money notes?! (What?!really "cia lat" lo!!)

After thinking for a moment.....

Want people to throw money at places other than the water feature?
(Where is that?!! Your house?! Give $ also wan to "ah chi ah cho" here! kns)

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Brand new Proton Saga

Look at this....haha....It happened during my day at Shah Alam. We were going for the Robocon competition early in the morning around 9am. The UITM students were having classes that day. They parked their vehicles until outside of the campus compound and this car....was blocking the way. The road was quite narrow. There were buses passing through that narrow road. But, somehow there were many cars along the side way of the roads. This car, a brand new Proton Saga, parked his car at the turning point which causes all the buses jammed.

Thus, we found a solution....look at the video...haha.
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